Where Does Your Treasure Lie?

It’s been a while hasn’t it? I have been longing to write, so here we are. I feel that at this point, it wouldn’t seem right to not share a recent part of my testimony with you. The past couple of weeks have been an intense season of growth.

God is chipping away, changing and making something beautiful. He’s tearing down walls that are falling with a tremendous roar. He’s answering a prayer that not too long ago came out of a longing soul, hungry for life.

“I want You to change me, even if it means breaking me.”

I don’t regret that prayer, but the process has hurt stupendously. Like a sculptor (as referenced before) chipping away at my exterior, a beautiful and perfect result is in His mind’s eye; a promised masterpiece.

You must know, God has come through on both sides of my request. I knew that to really change, to really devote my life to my Savior, it was going to take surrender. Breathtaking surrender. Beautifully breathtaking, and “knock the air out your lungs and panic for your life for a few seconds” breathtaking. Yes, I’ve been broken. But the change that’s happened and that is happening is phenomenal. I feel myself being refined in the fire and drawn closer to my Creator. God is so good!

“My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, ³ knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. ⁴ But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”
James 1:2-4 (NKJV)

A recent disappointment of expectations broke an unknown dam that, apparently, spilled out every other grievance of my heart into the open air. This disappointment caused me sorrow, and it baffled me. Why did this heartbreak wound me so badly? Something became utterly clear to me, sort of like a question from God.

“Where does your treasure lie?”

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
Mathew 6:21 (NIV)

My heart ached and I felt hopeless; completely alone in a group of people very dear to me. I learned, or maybe finally accepted, that I had been searching for life and joy in these circumstances, now broken. These things that I leaned into were not bad things, but I let them become the source for my joy. So, when the situation crumbled, I crumbled.

The depression, anger, and confusion all shot at me, riding on fiery arrows straight from the enemy. It crippled me and I hated it.

In the mix of numbness and overwhelming emotion, I gritted my teeth and pushed through the muck that I felt surrounded in. Because, in the midst of it all, God kept speaking truth into my life.

“I know this hurts, but I’m working on you”

“I love you. Don’t get lost in this and miss the entire point of why it’s happening.”

It’s not going to be easy. Jesus told us that we will have trouble, but He also reminded us of the peace found in Him.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33 (NIV)

In the midst of all of this, God has been illuminating blessings in my life. What a joy it is to spend time with someone who loves Jesus and shines with His light. He has used His servants to encourage and breathe life into a weary soul. So thank-you to these people for being beacons of God’s joy and love.

So, I continue on this journey with the Almighty and leave you with a question.

Where does your treasure lie?