Surrender

God has been revealing to me an area of my life that needs to be surrendered, despite years of me fighting ferociously to pretend that I’ve already placed it into my “surrendered” box.

Now,  I usually don’t like to lay out this part of my life for people, but hey, what’s a blog about my journey with my Father if I only give you the fluffy stuff, right? This road is narrow folks.

Now, the Lord God above made me, and He knows that He made me a romantic. Ever since I was a kid, I remember loving the idea of having a boyfriend. Oh yes, I was going to be in love one day. I’m the kind of person who you can find alone on a Friday night in my pajamas, soaking in a incredibly cheesy romantic comedy (and enjoying it)                                                                                Don’t judge me.

Now, of course, as I’ve grown up, my perspective on relationships has changed. Just a cute boy is no longer enough as it was in grade 6 (cringe). Even just “Christian” is not only what I look for. If a guy is not willing to put God before me, he is not for me.

Have you ever experienced a sermon or something of the sort in which someone was speaking on surrender and they asked this question, “what do you feel God is asking you to surrender?”

*raises hand* I have, many times, and the area of “future husband” is something that always seem to come to mind in these situations.

For a long time, I could convince myself that I had…kind of surrendered it and I would attempt to take matters into my own hands, many times feeling God pulling me back.

In one particular situation, I dated a guy. He was a very genuine person and incredibly gentleman-like. He’s a Christian also. As soon as things started to turn into a relationship, I was overtaken with that…”feeling.” You know, that feeling where God’s all like “girl, you know that this is NOT where you are supposed to be. I know I raised you better than this. I know that you hear me. Do NOT ignore me.” You know, in a very loving way. I knew God hadn’t wanted me in that relationship and I had sort of been ignoring His pull up until that point. So, I ended it with this guy. I know I confused him tremendously and I felt horrible for playing with his feelings like that. We’re good now, but I was stupid.

So, God was teaching me a lesson. I haven’t forgotten that one.

Fast forward to recently, God has unveiled a discontentment in my life. I know that God has exactly the right person for me. I also know that he has the right timing. He’s challenged me to focus on Him and who I am in Him; to find total and complete contentment in Him. A question has come to my mind a fair amount lately.

If I (“I” being God) was to ask you to stay single for the rest of your life, would you be willing to do it?

Now, I don’t think that this is a calling in my life, but I feel the need to fall in love with God and the need to be so aligned with His will, that if this was the case, I could answer with a resounding “yes.”

I feel challenged to fall in love with and find complete contentment in God before I fall in love with whoever He has for me.

So, God’s working on me and I’m very happy that He reveals these things to me. I want to grow.

Now, for the question 🙂

What is something that you feel God is asking you to surrender?

I urge you to ask God what this might be and to not ignore the nagging feeling. It may be the Holy Spirit trying to reveal something to you.

Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord!
Psalm 27:14 (NKJV)